Hey, 2010. What'chu got?
I woke up this morning with a large "P" imprinted upon my forehead. A little New Year's Eve souvenir scored after falling into a bar. (Why did I fall and what did the "P" belong to? And whose phone number is in my purse? And where did my right shoe go? And damn, Twinkies for breakfast are criminally underrated.)
Resolutions:
1. Be present. (Hence the mystery "P"?)
2. Learn how to surf.
3. Lose ten pounds by avoiding all dairy, beer, bread, and a certain Hostess product that is a yellow cream-filled ass sabotager.
4. Discontinue falling into bars.
Happy New Year's, mofos. Let's do this.
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Ba ha ha ha.
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