Is it just me or does anyone else think that Twitter is a giant melting pot of assholes? Someone PLEASE explain it to me because I want to know what I'm missing out on. Aside from a few legit peeps, I have the following followers:
The Gramatically Challenged Exhibitionist:
Craigslisthooker: sup fellas, im kewt, im single again. seeee my fotos at ...
Ninety percent of my followers fit this category, but that's OK. I don't discriminate. Because then I would only have no followers left, and I'm just shallow enough to pad my follower count with porn stars.
The Person Who Pretends to Be of Great Service by Forwarding Random "Helpful" Links in Attempt to Camouflage Self-Promotion of Their Blog/Book/Hats Shaped Like Fruit/Whatever the Fuck:
Birdbrain: "AGD is SO MUCH MORE PROFITABLE than traditional affiliate marketing... http://bit.ly/oddsiteofday"
Sometimes I visit these links, which is unfortunate when you're reading plotlines of the "Top Ten Disturbing Movies" before you've had your coffee. Japanese cannibalism is no way to start the day.
The Earnest Smiler:
Direct Message from BestDarnMommyPeriod: "Hi there. Let's see if we can establish a mutually beneficial relationship here. What are some of your interests?"
Oh honey, I appreciate your tips on healthy summer snacks and how to make pipe cleaner dogs with the kids, but my interests include salt, wine, and inventing my own curses. You're too good for me, baby. Let's call it a day. It's not you, it's me.
John Mayer:
Sorry, John. I've thrown my own parents under the bus for less.
So the Twitter Experiment might be short-lived. Until then, thank you, Michael Ian Black.
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