With Props to Lloyd Dobbler

I've experimented with Twitter today. So far, I have fourteen people following me, and as far as I can tell, none of them are wearing pants.

Not off to a flying start. Perhaps I should not tweet. Because I lie. I do not like anyone who's younger than me. And I do not get Twitter's wild and crazy wordplay, like "Hey Twits, Let's Twarty!" or whimsical made-up nouns, such as "Twig." Furthermore, haven't I contributed enough to the planet's Cyberpollution? (Yeah, you heard me. "Cyberpollution." Coin that bad boy.)

So I have a new motto:

"I don't want to tweet anything, facebook anything, or blog anything as a career. I don't want to tweet anything facebooked or blogged, or facebook anything tweeted or blogged, or blog anything tweeted, facebooked, or blogged, or myspace anything tweeteed, facebooked, or blogged. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

I'm pretty sure I fucked that up, but that's the meat of it. Now go get dressed, for crying out loud. You're gonna catch a cold.